Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Center of It

Keeping faith can be hard, at least for me. There are days when I wonder what God is thinking handing me the things he does that day. Like, really God, you think I can get through this standing on the other side? There are days when I think God has forgotten about me, like I'm a lost cause and he's moved on to greener pastures. Then there are days when I know he is standing right beside me holding my hand. Those are the days that I need to hold on to and know that he is always there, I just sometimes take that for granted.
 
Yesterday was a day that I forgot God was there. Molley had a rough first day at daycare. I wasn't ready to come back to work, and when I picked her up and she hadn't eaten much all day, hadn't slept, I thought that's it, I'm quitting and staying home. I know I can't do that, and I do love my job and the people I work with. I would miss that, and Molley would miss out on all of the fun David has had being in school there. It just seemed that God was giving me more than I could handle at once. He wasn't, and I know that she will be fine and it's just an adjustment period.
 
I heard this song on my way to work this morning, and I think it's just what I needed to hear. I've heard it before, and never paid attention to it. This morning, something told me to turn it up and listen. No matter what - good, bad, ugly, God is right there in the center of it all.
 
"Center Of It" by Chris August
 
Somedays I'm feelin' like I
Can't win, can't get it right and it
Don't matter how hard I try
Today is not my day
When it feels like I'm going crazy
And it looks like nothings changing
Come sun come rainy day
You are still the same

In the dark, in the light
In the morning and night
In the good, in the hurt
In the places I hide
When I rise, when I fall
You'll be there through it all
At the start, at the end In the center of the center of it

Some nights I lay awake and I
Can't push these thoughts away
I'm worried where I'm gonna go
Where I'm gonna be are You gonna be there for me
When it feels like the doors are closing
Gotta trust that You're doing something
Come sun come rainy day
You are all I need
In the dark, in the light
In the morning and night
In the good, in the hurt
In the places I hide
When I rise, when I fall You'll be there through it all
At the start, at the end
In the center of the center of it

There will be days I will forget
Everything You've done for me
But when I go back there again
I'm reminded

In the dark, in the light
In the morning and night

In the dark, in the light
In the morning and the night
In the good, in the hurt
In the places I hide
When I rise, when I fall You'll be there through it all
At the start, at the end
In the center of the center of it
The center of it all, the center of it
In the loss, in the win
In the beauty and the sin
At the start, at the end
In the center of the center of it