Homesick

Music has always been a mainstay in my life. I turn to music in good times and bad, when I am angry and when I am ecstatic. Certain songs speak to me more at different times in my life. "Lucky Love" by Ace of Bass screams early high school to me. This came out back when you bought cassette tapes of a single and on the other side was a different song from the album. "Everyday is a Winding Road" reminds me of late high school/early college. Avril Lavigne and I spent time together in late undergrad with her "angry chick" music, and Rascal Flatts came into my life around the same time and they are still my favorite band. Music has always been in my life.

In the past year, I have turned to songs to look for meaning in things that have happened, like here and here. This summer another song came out, but it took me until now to really listen to it and let it speak to me. The song is "Homesick" by Mercy Me.

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbyes
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

I don't know anyone who hasn't lost a loved one and questioned why. It's human nature. In the moment, it is so hard to remember that God will give us the strength to make it through. It may take months, it may take years, but we will make it through by the glory of God.

In the last year, the Mott family has had a lot of loss. We lost two of Nate's grandparents and we lost two pregnancies.  Today Dew passed. I know that Dew is a dog, but she wasn't just a dog, she was part of the family. Dew was 16 years old and lived a good life. She will be missed. She's up there looking down on us now, feasting in cheese.