Wednesday, April 3, 2013

David says...

Another list of the things he says...

On the subject of marriage...

Me: Are you going to get married?
David: Of course!
Me: Who will you marry?
David: Sylvia.
Me: Where will you live?
David: At my house. I have lots of things to show her.
Me: Where will mommy and daddy live?
David: At my house too.
Me: Oh, not at my house?
David: No mommy, at mine. We needs lots of money for more houses and stuff.  We share a house.

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On the subject of women...

David: Mom, you can be the Green Lantern.
Me: Okay, but could I be Super Woman instead?
David: No, you're not a woman. Only Mother Goose is?
Me: Huh?
David: You know mom, the woman in a shoe.
Me: Oh, so what am I?
David: Silly, you're a mommy.

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On the subject of school...

Me: David, can you pick up your stuff so we can eat?
David: No mommy, I'm doing my paperworks for school.
Me: Oh, well, can it wait?
David: No mommy. I go to high school next week and I need my paperworks.
(NOOOO....that will come fast enough.)

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On the subject of superheros...

David: Mom, I'm Superman!!
Me: Oh. How do you know that?
David: 'Cuz my underwears say so.

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On the subject of bottoms...

David: Stinky butt, stinky butt (said while pointing to his butt)
Me: David, we don't talk about butts outside the bathroom.
David: Stinky buns, stinky buns
Me: David! We don't talk about butts or buns outside the bathroom!
David: Stinky bottom...
How many words for butt does this kid know?

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On rule interpretation...

Me: David, you can play outside but don't get in the sandbox, got it.
David: Yes mommy
Several minutes later....
TeTe: David, I thought mommy said you couldn't get in the sand box.
David: I not. I'm just taking the sand out to me.
(He was not in the sandbox, but sitting just outside of it.)
Well played, son. Well played.

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Over heard while working at my moms house...

Me: Stop making so much noise with your hammer!
David: I'm banging mom. I like to bang. Only boys like to bang. I like to bang! Bang, bang, bang. Banging is fun!!
Nate and my dad were giggling in the background.

David: Mommy, I'm screwing! You can't smile and screw mom. Screwing is serious work.
More giggling in the background.

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On our crazy weather...

David: MOM!! There is snow on my garden. Get it off. It's not supposed to be there, it's spring!!

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David: Mom, will you snuggle with me?
Always