Wednesday, April 3, 2013

David says...

Another list of the things he says...

On the subject of marriage...

Me: Are you going to get married?
David: Of course!
Me: Who will you marry?
David: Sylvia.
Me: Where will you live?
David: At my house. I have lots of things to show her.
Me: Where will mommy and daddy live?
David: At my house too.
Me: Oh, not at my house?
David: No mommy, at mine. We needs lots of money for more houses and stuff.  We share a house.

On the subject of women...

David: Mom, you can be the Green Lantern.
Me: Okay, but could I be Super Woman instead?
David: No, you're not a woman. Only Mother Goose is?
Me: Huh?
David: You know mom, the woman in a shoe.
Me: Oh, so what am I?
David: Silly, you're a mommy.

On the subject of school...

Me: David, can you pick up your stuff so we can eat?
David: No mommy, I'm doing my paperworks for school.
Me: Oh, well, can it wait?
David: No mommy. I go to high school next week and I need my paperworks.
(NOOOO....that will come fast enough.)

On the subject of superheros...

David: Mom, I'm Superman!!
Me: Oh. How do you know that?
David: 'Cuz my underwears say so.

On the subject of bottoms...

David: Stinky butt, stinky butt (said while pointing to his butt)
Me: David, we don't talk about butts outside the bathroom.
David: Stinky buns, stinky buns
Me: David! We don't talk about butts or buns outside the bathroom!
David: Stinky bottom...
How many words for butt does this kid know?

On rule interpretation...

Me: David, you can play outside but don't get in the sandbox, got it.
David: Yes mommy
Several minutes later....
TeTe: David, I thought mommy said you couldn't get in the sand box.
David: I not. I'm just taking the sand out to me.
(He was not in the sandbox, but sitting just outside of it.)
Well played, son. Well played.

Over heard while working at my moms house...

Me: Stop making so much noise with your hammer!
David: I'm banging mom. I like to bang. Only boys like to bang. I like to bang! Bang, bang, bang. Banging is fun!!
Nate and my dad were giggling in the background.

David: Mommy, I'm screwing! You can't smile and screw mom. Screwing is serious work.
More giggling in the background.

On our crazy weather...

David: MOM!! There is snow on my garden. Get it off. It's not supposed to be there, it's spring!!


David: Mom, will you snuggle with me?